I'm sick and I want my Mommy!

I've heard that a writer doesn't write because they want to, they write because they have to. After this week I have an idea of what that means. Being sick with the flu and with my OCD (hum), I've been writing in my head all week.



I have been so sick this week that I would have to get better to die. There is one thing wrong and scary about being sick when your elderly. Do I have whats going around or is this the thing that is finally going to take me? My husband said, "Give yourself at least ten days to get over this." Well, I have three to go.



My husband is a wonderful man, I might almost say a perfect man (not really) but he has my back. That's what Sandra Bullock says about her husband Jessee James, "He has my back".

I like that. Anyway, hubbies skills aren't ----what can I say---he's not MOMMY.

I have lost fluids from places in my body that my mother taught me years ago to control. I have coughed up all of my insides which took care of the heaving part. I have heard noises in my head that I have never heard before and heard noises escape my bottom half that would have shocked Mother Teresa. My husband was giving me cough medicine every four hours (well isn't that what it usually says,) that I was suppose to be taking every twelve hours. I need two canes to walk as I now walk like a drunk. Hubby helps me into the room off the hall. This will be my first look at myself in five day. My hair hasn't been combed, my face and hands have not been washed, I'm still in two day old depends. I glanced in the mirror. Two big black holes stare back at me from my face. --------------I'm dead!



"Do you think you can eat something,"my loved one asked me. Now let me explain. When my husband thinks of eating he remembers only once commercial. Take lots of fluids and get plenty of rest. Now I've had that for five days now. I'm thinking food. "Would you like some more soup or some jello.' he ask so lovingly. What he doesn't know now is that I have taken on a whole new persona. Now I'm thinking, can I get one of these canes up high enough , swing it hard enough to kill him or will I just land of these two black holes in my face on the floor. Now in my family if by the fifth day you can't eat steak, broccoli with hollandaise sauce, and a big salad, than you are dead. "Soups sounds fine , Honey, can I have some crackers with it".

No man on earth can try harder than my husband to meet my needs, (I'm needy) and no man can get so many things mixed up. But yet I lives. You are the best in the world. I love the man you are and I love the child in you that you allow me to see. Thankyou for seeing me though another flue. And tonight honey, I'm going to fix you a nice dinner.

Do you want soup or cereal.?

BEING SICK WITH MOMMY: Mommy, I'm sick. "Well, you stay right in bed sweetie, and mommy will get you some breakfast. Do you feel like eating?" " Can I have a soft boiled egg" I asked. Next, mom goes back downstairs and heats up a pan of hot water. That's right. Heats it on the stove. No hot water in taps than. Up she comes with the hot water and soap and soft wash cloth. Oh , I can feel it as I write. This is how I was giving a spoon bath every morning and every night for the duration of my sickness.

First, she says, "Put out your arm," she washes it and dries it. "Now your other arm, honey," she washes it and dries it. Than she sponges off my face. Now she would never expose your whole body to the cruel cold air. Now she say, "Put out your leg" she washes it and dries it. "Now your other leg" she washes it and dries it. My mother taught her two girls to sponge bathe at night when we were older . Now the saying was, You washed down as far as possible and that up as far as possible and than you washed possible.
Well that was also done when we were sick. When she finished washing us, she would hand us a nice wet clean cloth and say , "Now you wash possible. Don't you just love a mother that knows how to give a sponge bath.

I think my mom had a wet cloth in her hands all the time. we were sat on the sink and washed before meals, before bed, before dad came home from work. Than she would give us her famous spit curls. Every little curl was put in our hair with her spit. What a mom.
I love you so much mom. I miss you and think of you everyday of my life. I'm almost to the age you were when you left us and I remember you telling me that on some days you still wanted your mother. Mom, you taught me everything you could to help me survive and take care of myself. You taught me to love, forgive and you told me about the love of God. Mom, the only think you never taught me was,

How do I stop never wanting you.